“Having difficulty acknowledging praise, anxiety, depression, burn-out and an inability to enjoy the success they have earned.” -Current research in the Behavioural Sciences Journal on the presence of imposter syndrome in your psyche.
The issue with imposter syndrome typically stems from issues in occasional self-loathing (Ahem! Human nature anyone?).. This existential difficulty is an important factor that differentiates us humans from robots, by the way. Of course, no one wants to admit it, but according to Psychology Today only around 15 % of the population is truly self-confident. In fact, this article (by the Daily Mail) summarizes new findings from over 42,000 participants worldwide. After 40 years of research, the findings tell us that “Females working in academia and health are most at risk of feeling like frauds, despite being very successful.” Today, this is commonly known as ‘ The Imposter Syndrome”. These findings suggest that if you are highly educated, you might suffer more!
The antidote is self-confidence, do you have it? Are you wondering exactly what it is? Oxford dictionary defines Confidence as “a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.”
Turns out confidence can be cultivated. Yes, you can cultivate your own. Like growing a flower from a seed, it will not show up without some intention, care, and cultivation. Still, you are responsible for sowing your seeds, and reaping them if you want results. The constant effort is a prerequisite to our own blooming.
Thinking it doesn’t matter (not caring) will either inhibit your own growth or cause your confidence to diminish and fall away.
You’ll need to start by making time to care for yourself! You must recognize that you have a purpose, an obligation even, to serving others. To do this effectively, you must start with yourself. The difference between self-serving and self-care is the inclusion of serving others in sincerity (love thy neighbor).
The next step will involve knowing your goals and having a vision. Your purpose is the driving fuel of your own existence. The unfolding story of our lives is affected by our free-will. We are able to ascend, or descend by our own choices, thoughts, and words! If you are going to be a lighthouse, you must show the way for others in leading by example, but how exactly?
“Look Your Best, Do your Best, Be Your Best” is a favorite quote of mine from the late Dr. Charles Stanley. While we may actively choose to strive to do our best, if we don’t look our best, then the link to effectively communicating self-confidence is still missing. Alternatively, we may be overly concentrated on how we look, and be lacking in the area of ‘doing’ right things (a.k.a. serving others).
The remedy is closer than you might think. If you want to switch to the side of real self-confidence, or aspire towards real authentic charisma, you can! The secret sauce is to ‘know thyself’ and dress for the part. We all know the old saying “If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck.” The same thing applies to each of us. If you want to lead confidently, then you need to learn how to look like a leader, behave like a leader, and sound like a leader. Not just any leader- Your ‘imago dei’ will emerge as you step into your highest self. Until next time, Peace Be With You.
Your Award-Winning Style & Image Consultant,
Estyn Elan
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